(Danica, firesuit on, arms crossed, standing in front of Tony’s desk; Kevin and Kurt enter)
Danica: SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!
Kurt: We weren’t saying anything.
Danica: But now you are! Why is it always you, Busch?! *eyeballs him* Yeah, I’m eyeballing you! What are you gonna do about it?! You gonna do something about it?!
Kurt: I’m not gonna fight you.
Danica: Yeah, ’cause I’d f*cking kill you!
Kevin: Can we get on with this?
Danica: Oh, I’m sorry are we…*holding you up?* Hahahahaha!
Danica: Do you have somewhere to go?
Kurt: Like…*to the front?*
Kevin: You guys are idiots.
Kurt: You mean like…*Paul Menard?* Hahahahaha!
Kevin: Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean.
Danica: That makes sense. (to Kurt) Hey, do that thing where noise stops coming out of your pie hole.
Kurt: *shuts up*
Danica: Alright, let’s get this meeting started. Kevin, you won the race-excuse me, *should have* won the race, but you came in 32nd.
Danica: Yeah, like there’s a f*cking difference. And Busch, you came in 13th. Tell me how that feels.
Danica: Don’t care! ‘Cause I came in 6th! Oh yeah! (turns around, bends over and starts shaking her butt at them) 🎶FUNK SOUL BROTHER, CHECK IT OUT NOW! FUNK SOUL BROTHER, CHECK IT OUT NOW! THAT’S MY BUTT, LOOK AT MY BUTT!🎶
(Rodney Childers comes in)
Danica: 🎶FUNK SOUL BROTHER, CHECK IT OUT NOW!🎶 (sees Childers) Oh, I’m glad you came in.
Childers: Well, I heard the music.
Danica: Here. (Hands him a 3×5 card)
Childers: What’s this?
Danica: It’s a 3×5 card, you idiot.
Childers: Right, but what’s on it?
Danica: Um, words and sh*t.
Childers: Okay, but what does it mean?
Danica: Well, what I did was write down the definition of a pit crew. And I drew a picture so you’d know what one looks like.
Childers: Oh. I get it.
Danica: Goot, then you’re free to get the f*ck out.
Danica: Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. (Starts shaking her butt again) 🎶FUNK SOUL BROTHER, CHECK IT OUT NOW!🎶
Kurt: (to Kevin) I feel awkward and uncomfortable.
Danica: 🎶…SOUL BROTHER…🎶
Kevin: You mean right now, or all the time?
Danica: 🎶…6TH PLACE, 6TH PLACE…🎶
Kurt: Right now especially.
Danica: (Slaps her butt) 🎶WOO! WOO!🎶
Kevin: This is so stupid.
Kurt: I don’t have a number ready. Do you?
Danica: 🎶WOO! (slap) WOO! (slap)🎶